Living under the burden of being guilty of committing a crime is tough. When I was in my graduation, I maintained two charts. One read - "I felt guilty when.." and included pointers like 'when I threw away a sandwich' or 'when I unnecessarily scared Shalini about her petty ailment.' The other chart was named 'and the learning is....' and it contained mistakes that I had committed be they big or little. The aim was to be a better human being by taking into account the mistakes I had perpetrated and to learn from them so as to not repeat them again. A couple of weeks back I found myself missing those 'faded into oblivion' charts. The answer to the question 'why?' is a bit too long and requires the reader to be patient.
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A little devil all of a sudden starts creating ruckus in our lives feasting on our leftovers in the bin and yet to be consumed eatables. The enemy of the feline species somehow got an entry in our room and without much a difficulty created a havoc. It was around three o' clock of a silent night, and I suddenly got up feeling something had bit my ear as a little black figure speedily made a motion along the length of my bed. Too sleepy to think, I dwindled between the idea of it being a dream or reality. My roomie got up to see the criminal merrily moving atop the table. "See! Its there!" she cried.
I remembered the mortein rat-kill advertisement and the words "isey chuhe ek baar khaakar marein bahar jaakar" echoed in my ears. Hence getting one for my room the very next day became a predominant thought. Fate was it that we kept forgetting it and the rat but became a regular visitor to our room. I figured out that a little opening in the ventillator served as the passageway. Sadly it couldn't be latched as it had our internet cables running through. I somehow stuffed papers and cellotaped it badly leaving no room for the evil rat to enter. We slept peacefully for a couple of days and I silently basked under the glory of fending off the undesired being, completely forgetting how sharp a teeth they have. The barricades were soon busted and reenters the enemy. "Fine!" [when a girl says this word it actually means the opposite.. its bad] "Rat-kill is what it takes." I announced and one fine day I found a little plastic pack with a rat and a red cross over it in Multiplex which is not actually a multiplex but a hypermarket near our campus.
The rats of NIFT hostel are famous as because of their massive sizes they are nothing but giants. I tore open the packet at night reading instructions that sounded a little too brutal. It read-
Do not mix with anything to lure. Keep the cake at the place where the rat comes. The venous pressure increases and death happens due to bursting of the veins. In case of accidental swallowing....
I broke the bait into two and kept one at the table and one randomly at the floor. Since I had seen my mom using a different kind of rat-kill which was mixed with flour and butter and a little bite was lethal, my pupils dialated when I saw both the bits completely gone the next morning.
"The venous pressure increases and death happens due to bursting of the veins." echoed in my mind. It was too hard not to imagine a poor rat's veins bursting and the rat dying a death of pain and suffering. I held myself in contempt for killing a not so innocent being just because it had this innate habit of causing trouble at people's homes. Guilt overlaid me and I decided not to do something like this again. Peaceful sleeps along with guilt rereturned.
I remembered the mortein rat-kill advertisement and the words "isey chuhe ek baar khaakar marein bahar jaakar" echoed in my ears. Hence getting one for my room the very next day became a predominant thought. Fate was it that we kept forgetting it and the rat but became a regular visitor to our room. I figured out that a little opening in the ventillator served as the passageway. Sadly it couldn't be latched as it had our internet cables running through. I somehow stuffed papers and cellotaped it badly leaving no room for the evil rat to enter. We slept peacefully for a couple of days and I silently basked under the glory of fending off the undesired being, completely forgetting how sharp a teeth they have. The barricades were soon busted and reenters the enemy. "Fine!" [when a girl says this word it actually means the opposite.. its bad] "Rat-kill is what it takes." I announced and one fine day I found a little plastic pack with a rat and a red cross over it in Multiplex which is not actually a multiplex but a hypermarket near our campus.
The rats of NIFT hostel are famous as because of their massive sizes they are nothing but giants. I tore open the packet at night reading instructions that sounded a little too brutal. It read-
Do not mix with anything to lure. Keep the cake at the place where the rat comes. The venous pressure increases and death happens due to bursting of the veins. In case of accidental swallowing....
I broke the bait into two and kept one at the table and one randomly at the floor. Since I had seen my mom using a different kind of rat-kill which was mixed with flour and butter and a little bite was lethal, my pupils dialated when I saw both the bits completely gone the next morning.
"The venous pressure increases and death happens due to bursting of the veins." echoed in my mind. It was too hard not to imagine a poor rat's veins bursting and the rat dying a death of pain and suffering. I held myself in contempt for killing a not so innocent being just because it had this innate habit of causing trouble at people's homes. Guilt overlaid me and I decided not to do something like this again. Peaceful sleeps along with guilt rereturned.
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This is when I missed my charts for if I had them I could have scribbled "I will never bring a rat-kill again. Sorry Bhagwanji."
Epilogue
"Crash!!!" I heard a bowl falling on the ground on yet another peaceful night. "Bleh! It didn't die?!" I thought. Relief and disbelief came together. But apparently I figured out that there are more than a couple of rats who have invaded our room. So now I am not sure whether amid this irritation of getting up at night due to their noisy disturbances I wish to bring a rat-kill or not but I do miss my Guilty and Learning charts.
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